on the left

Way back in January, when I had my mammogram and they biopsied the lump on the right, they also saw some small spots on the left.
Spots are normal, especially if they're small, so nobody was concerned about it.
My surgeon wanted a second look, just to be sure, so I went back over and had another scan done on the left side. Again, nothing to worry about.
Given my family history, and the fact that I was about to start cancer treatment, they decided we should have another look in about six months.

Monday was the day.

(It's cute how careful and kind all the technicians are when they know you're not there for your average every-day annual scan.)

Because this was specifically to check up on previous images, they had to be sure to position me exactly as they had before. They also had the images from January up on the screen to compare it to in real time.

They made me wait while they discussed what they could see.

Everything looks just like it did before. No changes.

The images were sent to my surgeon so she could have a look as well. She agrees with the folks at UVRMC - nothing has changed.

We'll take another look in six months. Can't be too careful about stuff like this.

I am so grateful to have so many excellent care-givers on my team.

like art, but not

As a preparation for my final radiation treatments, this morning the docs and techs took turns drawing on my chest.

ain't it perty?

*wink*

My lashes had been thinning a bit over the last month or so.
As of about two weeks ago, they were pretty much gone, so I started wearing false lashes (just the drugstore variety, nothing too expensive).*
Since I had absolutely no clue how to go about putting these things on, I searched the web for some basic lash-application tutorials. Nerdygirlmakeup was my favorite.

Andrea 53 lash

I sorta thrashed my first pair (getting off the old adhesive isn't the easiest thing I've ever done) and my second didn't fair much better. When I went back for a third set, they were all out of the usual kind in the style I wanted, but they had a set of the "self adhesive" variety. These come with a strip of adhesive already on the lash, and another in a little groove in the package. The adhesive is different from the kind you apply yourself, in that it remains a bit sticky instead of drying after a few minutes.
I loved how easy they were to put on (and reposition), but then I spent a good portion of the day unsticking the bangs of the brunette wig from my lashes. If that wasn't enough, every time I sneezed, (and it was a sneezy sort of day) my eyelids would stick shut, and I'd have to pry them apart. By the end of the day, I wasn't sure if I'd use that second strip. Ever.
Thankfully, they can be glued on in the usual way as well, or I'd have tossed them.

I've gotten skilled enough with the glue that it's no longer a thick messy line (or glopped onto the lashes), and I can get them both on within about 5 minutes.

However, unless there is some trick with the glue I haven't learned yet (possible) it seems that your average strip lash is not meant to be worn for an entire day. Most days, I end up touching up the glue about halfway through the day. At first, I'd take them off, reapply glue, and put them back on. Now I just get a little glue on a toothpick, run it under the loose portions of the lash strip, and stick that bit back on my eyelid. Probably not the recommended method, as I suppose I could accidentally poke myself in the eye (with a sharp stick), but I'm careful. Promise.

As I've gotten used to these fussy little bits of pretty, I've started to have a little fun with them, try new styles. At first, I was going for "realistic, but better". Now, I'm happy to try the more dramatic lengths.

Andrea 45 lash

I would never have applied enough mascara to get this effect with my own lashes (mostly because it all has to come off at some point), but I have to admit, I like the look. Enough that I will probably continue to use false lashes whenever the mood suits.

(notice the lack of lower lashes. sad, isn't it? not much I can do about that)



Side note: If you look closely at the second photo, you might notice that my eyebrows are filling back in. I still brush on a little brow powder so they don't look sparse (the hairs are about half their usual length), but now I don't have to guess at where my brows should be. I was just starting to get the hang of penciling them on, and now I don't need to so much.

*for anyone thinking, "why don't you just get those 'permanent' ones they can do at a salon?" Those kind are glued to your existing lashes. Of which I have very few. Also, there is a risk of infection for those of us with compromised immune systems, and infections, at any stage of cancer treatment, are bad news. Even if they're nowhere near the treatment areas. Point of fact: they don't recommend wearing any false lashes due to risk of infection. I just choose to live dangerously in the interest of not frightening strangers. (You're welcome.)

irradiated

Know what? Radiation is kinda boring.

I come in, wave at the receptionist on my way to the dressing room, swap all my clothing above the waist for a hospital gown, and lay down on a table. Then 2-3 technicians push me around a bit to get me positioned correctly under the lasers and such, while I pretend I'm a mannequin* - whatever position they put me in, that's how I'll stay.
Everyone clears the room, leaving me alone while a machine shoots radiation at the selected areas. A few minutes later, I'm all done, the techs help me up from the table, I change back into my clothes, and I'm outta there.

Boring.

Or, it could be.

Truth is, the techs are nice people. They tell me they like the music I chose to listen to (I asked for Neon Trees, or anyone like them), and sometimes, they even dance. While they wait for the machine to finish circling out of the way, or the table to come back down, they dance. And I lay there half-naked on a table, with my feet rubber-banded together. (Is it just me, or does this sound like something out of Rocky Horror?)

*Did you ever play that game when you were little? you stand still (or you sit, or lay down) and your friend takes hold of your arm or whatever and positions you in various awkward positions? Just me? Okay. Nevermind.

Recently

Recently, I've been plagued by the same almost-mistake, over and over again.

I keep almost leaving the house without anything on my head.

Seriously.

 

Yes, my hair is starting to grow back. As are my eyebrows.

But it's not quite to the point that I would actually be comfortable spending the entire day like this.

Radiology, Tatts, and prepping to become a super-hero

(Or, something like that.)

Went to Radiology this morning, for the initial set-up appointment.

This involved me taking off everything above the waist, putting on a gown (opening in the back, please), laying down on the "bed" for the scanner, and having my feet held together with a huge rubber band (to help keep me still, she said). I was then dressed up with a special tape (to mark the area that will be irradiated) and run through a huge donut for a cat-scan. Quick process, that. And I didn't even have to hold my breath.

Once they had the scans, I had to stay still while she calibrated the computer, and then the tech came in and turned out the lights, saying that she could see what she needed to see a little easier with the lights out. (This had me wondering if the tape and the scan somehow together left some kind of marks on my skin?) She then switched on something in the thing above my head that read "laser". I could see there was a red light, aimed at my nose. She repositioned the "bed", and I presume the red light was now aimed at my right breast. She then drew six dots on me - four around my right breast, and one on either side of my body, in the rib area. Once drawn, she prepped her tattoo needle (it looked like a flexible tube with a needle at one end - not exactly high tech), and poked me six times, injecting ink at each one of the dots. She drew blood.

(So now, I have smears of ink, not quite cleaned off, around each dot, and the one that bled? it's the one located just about dead-center on my chest, well above cleavage area, fully visible to all and sundry. That's pretty.)

The doc asked me if I had questions. I told him I'd never done this before, so, I didn't know. He laughed and told me to write them down, if I thought of any, and we'd go over them, one by one, next time he saw me. All of this took place while I was laying down, gowned, partially exposed, hands above my head. I felt silly.

After, when I was dressed again, I stood at the counter discussing appointment times. The doctor came up next to me, asked how I felt. I said, "I have tattoos!", and he lamented the fact that they didn't have more sophisticated equipment. A micro-tattoo would be so much better - you could have tiny little butterflies or roses or hearts - if only they had the equipment. I pointed out that little dots aren't exactly going to stick out on my skin - I've already got plenty, I say, sticking out my arms to show him all my freckles. He was nice.

My first appointment is on Wed the 20th. They will shoot radiation at my body, guided by the tattoos, for about 15 min, every week day, for six to eight weeks.

Tomorrow, I have my follow-up with the oncologist.

I live a thrilling life, no?

it's like a 5 o'clock shadow...for my head

I noticed on Thursday that my head seemed to be somewhat fuzzier, darker. But I didn't want to be jumping the gun here, stating that I might have some actual hair on my head.
Today, I took some pictures, and, yup, I seem to have more hair!

It's still quite thin, yes. And some of it isn't so much brunette as it is...void of color. But, it's there. And it's mine. By the time it's officially summer, I may be able to get away with wearing just a hat, on a really hot day, instead of a wig, topped with a hat, to protect my head from sunburn.

Also, my eyebrows are showing signs of coming back, though I'm not sure you can see that here.

Close up, in the mirror, I can see it. (This is my left eyebrow, BTW. Apparently, it thought it should match the right one. Stupid eyebrows. Do you have any idea how hard it is to draw eyebrows on yourself? Or how long that takes? Sheesh.)

My nails, however, seem to think it would be better to abandon ship.

Did no one tell them that chemo is over? Really, guys, you can stay! No need to peel off and regrow! (It's the index and middle finger there that are showing signs of peeling. So far.)
I trimmed them shorter, in an effort to keep them from catching on anything and getting pulled off. Not sure that's going to help, but, it was worth a shot. I'd say something like "why couldn't it have been my toenails instead", but, then one of those would want to come off, too. So, I never said that. Nope. And yes, I am aware that I could use a good manicure. It's just best if I don't do that until my nail strength is back to normal. I can live with ragged cuticles if it means keeping my nails. It's all a matter of perspective.