How It Started

On Thursday, Dec 15th, while working at a clients' office, I was trying not to think about a certain someone that had come back into my life recently, and instead trying hard to concentrate on my work. As I sat at the desk in the office set aside for me, I put my hand against my chest, in a way I often do, and felt a lump.
About the size of a quarter, possibly a silver dollar, irregular, hard, and, in my mind, impossible to miss. I use a facial scrub on my chest every morning in the shower - how could I have missed something as obvious as this?
The various possibilities started running through my mind, and I determined that yes, I would need to schedule a mammogram, and an appointment with my doctor. As I wasn't at my own office, I felt uncomfortable doing it right then, and decided to leave it for the next day.

On Friday, my office door was closed many times throughout the day as I made the various phone calls to schedule appointments and see what I should do. I texted that certain someone, asking him to call me when he could, and I called my mom.

Mom felt the same as I did: this isn't nothing, it will cause a disturbance in my life for a while, but it's not going to kill me.

When my someone called me, it was not the conversation he was expecting. But, I think he handled it as well as could be expected. Though it did add a rather serious note to what was not yet the beginning of a relationship.

My mammogram and ultrasound were scheduled for Jan 2 - the soonest they could get me in.

Though there may have been an argument for asking them to fit me in sooner, I didn't want to disrupt Christmas and New Years with the sorts of things I'm doing now: waiting for biopsy results, getting those results, and meeting with a surgeon. I felt that not knowing was a better option, considering the timing. So I waited.

I did not lose any sleep over it. I have not felt a need to worry about it, or to panic. Since my mom, who is a fairly spiritual and intuitive person, felt the same as I did, we don't feel that it was a mistake to let things happen as they have.