unsettling

While thinking about the word 'sanguin', and reflecting that this word perfectly describes how I've felt about my cancer from the day I found it (so certain that, while I will have to deal with it, and that it could be a fair amount of disruption in my life, I'd get past it and be done with it), suddenly, I'm not so sure. Still certain that this is not going to kill me. But now, I'm not so sure about the "done" part of it. Or something. I have no idea. It's unsettling.